All That Pleasure in Pain
Have you ever wondered why people like pain during sex? In fact, there is some science behind pain and pleasure in sex and why it is so appealing to many people across the world. Here, we will discuss some of the reasons why they are connected and what makes it so exciting to try this combo.
Physical Pain as a Source of Pleasure
The primary source of pleasure in BDSM is pain. Now, how is this possible? Why do so many people experience pleasure through pain? Is there some sort of ancient philosophy behind it, or is it simple chemistry?
It seems logical that people would avoid pain and pursue pleasure, but these two often go hand in hand. This is similar to why there are so many boxers out there or why people are willing to try ghost pepper, the world’s hottest pepper. The pain will quickly subdue and what will remain is adrenaline and euphoria.
When a person experiences pain, the body will release endorphins, which are proteins “designed” to block pain. Morphine creates a similar effect as a way of inducing euphoria.
Even if you have no experience with BDSM, you are probably aware that it involves physical pain. The submissive person will go through “torture” and pain. Needless to say, the pain in BDSM is consensual, and everything that happens during the session is part of the game. In essence, pain is just a gateway to pleasure for many people, and it is a way of releasing “happy chemicals” in the brain.
The Connection Between Pain and Sexual Pleasure
The connection between pain and pleasure is quite complex. There is so much more to it than saying that some people love being tortured. There is a reason why many say that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone, and the thrill that comes with power play is something irreplaceable.
Of course, the main reason for this is the fact that pain, love, pleasure, and sex release similar chemicals and hormones in our bodies. And the best example of this is the endorphin. As we have mentioned before, the protein is released during painful experiences, but it is often perceived as pleasure. For people who have felt this before, it seems more than obvious why they would try to recreate the feeling again, similarly to chasing highs.
The best thing about this is that the process is nothing new. It has been around for thousands of years. Just take a look at what we know as temperature play today. The couple will play with either high or low temperature to stimulate skin receptors and enjoy themselves.
While there are many dildos made of metal or glass that you can cool (or heat up), in movies, it is usually an ice cube or a molten wax. It just shows that people have realized that pain and pleasure are intertwined and that, sometimes, it is simpler to reach one through the other.
Experimenting With Pain
So what’s the secret? What are your options when it comes to incorporating some pain into your sex life? Let’s take a look at some of the most popular practices you can try. Of course, you don’t have to go full-on Fifty Shades of Grey during sex. You can just pick a few methods that sound exciting to you.
The first one we’ll talk about is spanking. Spanking is something that’s present in many bedrooms (or any other rooms, we don’t judge). Usually, it is done on the butt cheeks, and the person in charge of the process can use either their hand or a sex toy. There are whips, paddles, and other toys you can try out to spice things up.
Another almost vanilla part of the experimentation is hair pulling. Many girls love having their hair pulled during sex, and it can be a great turn on for them. The scalp is quite sensitive, and the doggy style is a perfect opportunity to try it out. Your partner can have their hair in a ponytail or loose.
The next thing you can try is choking. Here, things get a bit more intense and serious. This practice is something you should discuss with your partner before deciding to try it. Needless to say, light choking can be fun and pretty harmless. Just be careful not to hurt your partner.
If this is not enough for you, you can always try body clamps. These will stop blood flow and localize the sensation based on the type of toy you buy. There are nipple clamps, those for the vagina, and others. The primary idea behind them is to enjoy the feeling of blood rush once the clamps are removed.
We have already mentioned temperature play, but there are also blindfolds, handcuffs, and other toys you can test out.
Safety First
The most important part of BDSM, even the lighter versions we have mentioned here, is safety. To ensure that both you and your partner enjoy the session, you need to be careful, and any type of playing needs to be consensual. Trying something new can be quite scary, and both you and your partner need to be on the same page about it. If they are not into this type of play, you should never force them to try it or believe that they will change their mind spontaneously during sex.
RELATED: Know more about having safe acts in BDSM
So the first thing you need to cover is safety. If you buy a new toy, read the manual or inform yourself on the internet. Use the toy properly to avoid any injuries. For example, when trying temperature play, you should be careful when heating up (or cooling down) the toy to avoid frostbites and burns on your partner’s body.
There are a couple of terms important for BDSM, and they involve aftercare and safe words. A safe word is a word you and your partner choose to act as a red flag. If your partner thinks you are going too far, they will say the word, and the session will stop.
Aftercare is for everything that comes after you and your partner are done having fun. It is a post-play etiquette that ensures that all involved parties are well and involves tending to all the bruises or scratches that may have occurred during the session. Safety during impact play is the only way to ensure that you have an enjoyable time trying out new things.