Why You Should See a Therapist if You Are Into BDSM

Why You Should See a Therapist if You Are Into BDSM

Do you need to go to fetish therapy if you like BDSM? What are some reasons why you should visit an expert?

Before we go on, note that we’re not talking about a kinky therapy session in which your “doctor” will tie you up to a hospital bed and probe you with all sorts of medical equipment. Actually, this article will explore the benefits of psychotherapy for BDSM lovers. We’ll also tackle some challenges of finding competent therapists. So check out why you should see a therapist if you are into BDSM!

Therapy Sessions for BDSM Kinksters

To many people, BDSM is still an unusual practice that is filled with taboo. It is vastly different from vanilla sex because it focuses on the power exchange. This power exchange generally occurs between a submissive and a dominant role. While conventional sex also plays around with dominant and submissive roles, BDSM includes many elements of torture, humiliation, pain, and more to bring those roles out.

Why Therapy?

Quite often, BDSM lovers have specific personalities that allow them to explore various kinky activities. Some people can be controlling, while others can use BDSM as a way to heal from past relationship issues. Since BDSM is essentially an exchange of power, it often begins in our minds. As a result, what happens to our mental and emotional states before, during, and after a session can leave a lasting impact. This is one reason why kinksters are encouraged to see a therapist.

While BDSM is a consensual practice, there are many things that can go wrong. That’s how you could face some negative effects of this sexual activity. Obviously, a competent therapist can help you to analyze your fetishes. They could help you define your attraction to them.

Conversely, speaking to an expert about your negative experiences can help you improve your future BDSM scenes. If, for example, you only have a mild BDSM fetish and your partner prefers extreme kinks, a therapist could counsel you on how you can move on.

See these extreme kinks everyone should be aware of.

What’s more, if you’re unsure why you enjoy fetishes like painplay, body worship, rope bondage, and similar, a skilled therapist could help you understand yourself better.

You could talk about your BDSM experiences with your therapist to get a better understanding of your sexual orientation, your preferences, and the way they affect your psyche.

Finding the Right Therapist

Unfortunately, it’s not easy to find a competent therapist who understands BDSM. Most doctors still have biases towards it and treat it as a mental problem. Others simply do not understand the terminology, the dynamics, and the wide range of fetishes found in BDSM. As a result, not all therapists will be able to relate to you, so it’s best to find one with knowledge and experience in BDSM.

If your therapist isn’t competent, there’s a chance that they can relate your fetish to childhood abuse, which just isn’t the case for many BDSM lovers. Also, many therapists don’t know the difference between abusive behavior and consensual kinks. Many will treat it as a coping mechanism and will fail to offer quality advice.

What’s more, another big issue is the fact that people often have to come out to their therapists. If their therapist is unacquainted, the patient has to teach them the basics of BDSM during their sessions. This may be awkward and simply unproductive. One way to go around that is to not disclose the subject matter and keep it abstract.

However, this may not be the best solution if you want to discuss relationships and sex. There’s also another issue — the therapist could be a hidden kinkster. If this is the case, they may not want their patients to know about their fetish, which means they could avoid the subject altogether. Others could already have a few kinky clients, and they may refuse to take on more.

What’s a Kink-Aware Therapist?

In the end, for the best results, you should seek out a kink-aware therapist. By keeping an open mind, they will be able to know that your fetish isn’t pathological. A pro-fetish therapist should recognize BDSM as a normal part of sex. They should be able to differentiate between consensual play and abuse. Plus, they should understand the benefits as well as the disadvantages or issues that can occur in BDSM sessions. If you live in a small town, you may not be able to find such a therapist.

That’s why it may be easier to seek out kink-aware experts through pages like the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom’s Kink-Aware Professionals portal. This website can put you in touch with therapists in the U.S. and around the world. Another way is to reach out to your local BDSM community and your fellow kinksters for a recommendation.

Eventually, when you meet a therapist, we recommend you ask them a set of questions to see if they truly understand BDSM and if they have prejudices against you.

What Happens During a Therapy Session?

Obviously, when you find a kink-aware therapist, they will be supportive and understanding of your lifestyle. During your sessions, you can entrust the expert with the range of your sexual expression. That way, they will help you define why you prefer some kinks over others. Moreover, in an open discussion, your therapist could analyze your relationships. They could tackle any issues that you may have.

In BDSM therapy, the therapist should start off with a “blank screen” through which you can describe your own reality. During the sessions, you can fill this canvas with emotions, fears, desires, goals, and any other information that the therapist can use to assess you. In a nutshell, your session will not only be about BDSM. A competent therapist will try to help you solve problems and improve your entire life. If they are a kink-aware therapist, they will see your BDSM fetish as a normal part of your life and not as a coping mechanism or similar.

After that, your sessions should be relatively the same as those for non-kinksters. With each session, you and your therapist will tackle a problem. For example, you could describe your situation and talk about your feelings. Then, the therapist will use their knowledge and your responses to solve that issue. It’s possible that you could get some tasks/homework to complete between sessions, but the therapy methods could vary depending on the actual expert. Regardless of the method, you should strive to be as honest as possible. Also, your therapist should be as open and objective as possible.

Summary

Overall, therapy is an effective way to improve your mental health and well-being. While finding a kink-aware therapist can be tricky, it is definitely encouraged because it can allow you to expand your sexual freedom and talk about your experiences openly. So find a therapist today and good luck!