A Guide to Visiting a Fetish Club
You may have been into BDSM for a while, but however kinky (and sociable) you may be, nothing you’ve encountered so far can compare to the unique experience of visiting a fetish club or prepare you for it. That’s why you’re here — we’re going to guide you through the process of entering the fetish community.
What’s a Fetish Club?
As the name itself suggests, a fetish club is a venue that gathers people who are into (some) fetishes. While some clubs organize BDSM play, others are merely places for socializing.
Despite its setting, a fetish club isn’t your private sex dungeon. You don’t own the place, so you have to abide by its rules, which brings us to our first point.
Follow the Rules
A fetish club is a place where all the (metaphorical) masks come off. People go there to embrace (and unleash) their inner kinksters. Such a place may be unconventional, but it’s not deprived of rules, even though it may seem so.
If you want to visit a particular fetish club, you first need to know what fetish event is being organized. You don’t want to discover that it’s not your cup of tea upon arrival and end up wasting your evening. Moreover, you have to be familiar with the theme to know how to dress.
Finally, you may be able to have sex at the event (with an emphasis on “may”), but you won’t be allowed to do it wherever you find yourself. Fetish clubs usually put up signs that indicate designated areas for sex.
Fetish clubs are, above all else, places for socializing. Whether they organize BDSM play or not, they gather people who share similar interests. Keep that in mind when you enter one. You’re not there merely to find a partner for a BDSM scene — you can do that online — but to get to know your peers.
Since you’re new to the scene, starting a conversation with a stranger in such a situation may feel awkward. However, remember that you undoubtedly have at least one thing in common with them, which is more than you can say about people you meet at parties.
Don’t Stare and Judge
BDSM is stigmatized enough as it is, both as a lifestyle and as a sexual practice. Everyone’s familiar with society’s negative attitude toward the concept and no one needs such a view at a fetish club. It is a safe place for kinksters who share the same passion; Thus, it must be free of judgment.
You may feel the urge to stare at other attendees if you happen to wander into a fetish event that doesn’t interest you. If you do, think about how you’d feel if you were (however silently) judged and shamed for your affinities. If you feel out of place at a fetish club, you should walk out instead of staring at everyone as if they were performers at a freak show. They’re not there to feed your or anyone else’s curiosity but to enjoy themselves in a friendly environment.
Ask Around If You’re Not Sure
However comprehensive we may be, we can’t cover everything. There isn’t one universal protocol for all fetish clubs — different rules may apply at different events. You may attend an event at a fetish club and find yourself in a situation you haven’t anticipated. If you’re unfamiliar with the rules of a particular venue or they seem unclear, there’s no need to worry. Every BDSM sex club has a dungeon master you can ask to explain them to you.
Even though some people you’ll meet at a fetish club will seem at home there, you have to know that all of them were once beginners. There’s no need to feel ashamed of your lack of experience or intimidated by their confidence. If you dismiss your fears and inhibitions, you’ll catch up with them soon enough.
Just because people who frequent fetish clubs aren’t vanilla, that doesn’t mean they’re up for anything. Their lifestyle and sexual preferences don’t give anyone the right to treat them without respect. Although they’re kinky, they’re, above all, people, and you mustn’t view them as sexual objects.
Moreover, the BDSM community relies on the SSC philosophy, and so do fetish clubs. Everything that happens there has to be safe, sane, and consensual. Therefore, before you make a sexual advance at someone, make sure you have their consent.
Don’t Expect to Get Laid
High expectations may lead to disappointment. However clichéd that phrase seems, it’s applicable in the context of BDSM clubs. They’re unconventional places where you can meet other fetishists such as yourself. Nevertheless, the fact that they share your interests doesn’t necessarily mean they share your intentions. If you go to a fetish club expecting to get laid, you may get lucky, but you may just as easily get disappointed.
Not everyone who attends such events does that to have sex. Some people go to fetish clubs to socialize with their peers or as spectators. Some of them are beginners (such as yourself) who don’t want their first visit to result in a sexual encounter with a stranger. Myths about fetish clubs usually originate from people who have never been to one, so don’t believe everything you hear.
The point of the event is to interact with like-minded people, express yourself, and enjoy the view. Speaking of the view, don’t hesitate to compliment someone’s outfit if you really like it. Meeting people and building connections within the community opens doors to new encounters, some of which can lead to new sexual experiences.
If you want to enrich your BDSM experience and meet people who share your fetish, you may want to reconsider your plans for next Friday night. Instead of going to a bar, visit a fetish club. If you follow the rules of the event (as well as the club’s dress code) and respect other attendees, you may discover a whole new world.